– A journey of Letting Go
If you always do what interest you, at least one person is pleased-Katherine Hepburn
I felt super-hot and had wet hands, racing heartbeat along with involuntary holding of my breath. Why was I so scared and nervous? This was just the preliminary hearing. I had so much further to go. On top of all of that, I was not alone. Not only did I have my attorney with me, but I also had one of my cousins there for moral support. Yet for some reason, I still felt so vulnerable while watching the clock run down the time until the hearing began.
All rise! I was on my feet, staring at the door when the judge walked in. No sign of Mr. Ex or his attorney. Once the judge was settled in she announced that Mr. Ex’s attorney had withdrawn but, not before making Mr. Ex aware of the day’s proceeding. So, she ruled that we would move forward with or without him.
My attorney was on it. He introduced our evidence of witness statements and video accounts to keep the restraining order in place for me. As far as the actual divorce, I didn’t want much. I simply requested that whatever we had in our possession now, we keep and that we assume the responsibility for whatever bill that was in our name. This was actually a big break for Mr. Ex. Every bill we had was in my name. Utilities, credit cards, and the lease was all going to fall on me.
I’m sure I could’ve had the court order him to pay half of those bills but, getting him to actually pay it would’ve been like squeezing blood from a turnip. I just wanted to be free. I was granted temporary full custody of the boys and child support. My final hearing was scheduled for 30 days from then. Due to the back and forth with Mr. Ex and his previous attorney, the judge assured that I would be granted my divorced at the final hearing. Then just like that, court was dismissed and I could once again breath.
I walked out of the courtroom feeling pre-cautiously pleased. I got everything I wanted for now but, I was not in a celebratory mood. I was initially nervous to see him but, very shocked and disappointed that he didn’t show up. Not for me but, for our boys. Due to his absence and explosive attitude, the judge kept the restraining order in place for the boys as well. Now the burden was once again on my shoulders to relay the information to them. I just knew the boys would be so disappointed and that was not what I wanted. Once again, Mr. Ex left me holding the emotional bag…. and now I had to deliver it.