– A journey of Letting Go
When life gives you lemons, plant the seeds-Manosha Gray
Sometimes it is hard to stay motivated and act on your dreams when you’re surrounded by a bunch of people who doubt your every move. To be honest it is just downright mentally draining. When you’re not sharing your every move with people they can only go off of what they see. From the outside looking in, I looked like a chicken running around with my head cut off.
My temporary job had ended and while I was looking for a permanent position, I was also still hard at work reinventing my business. A business to which I had no clientele. I imagine to others I looked like a lost child because I began to get bombarded with unsolicited suggestions on what my next move should be. “You should try the temp agency I worked for they always got jobs”, “Go see if you can get your job back with the government”, and the most popular piece of unwanted advice, “You need to stop trying to play with that business stuff and get a real job with benefits”. Ha!
Nothing about what I was doing was playful or a game. While everyone else in the house lay asleep I was up utilizing my phone light to do research. I stayed up late night looking into different business development skills, marketing, business structures and businesses similar to my own. I used this time to load my brain with tons of business knowledge.
During the day I was glued to the computer putting in applications and submitting resumes. It actually didn’t take me long to find my ideal job. I was notified about the opening through an email. It was an email straight from the big man above. Great pay, part-time schedule, and union benefits. I was on it!
I had to take a skills test, an interview and then a drug test. The last and final step was to prove that I worked at my past employer’s. This step was long and difficult because one was my last part-time job that went out of business. My business also came up, so I had to prove that it existed. The entire thing was a long and grueling process. While I was waiting on my start date, people continued to give me their unrequited advice. Now that I potentially had a great job, the advice was all about letting go of my business aspirations.
Little known to them, the day I left Mr. Ex I had decided to live life according to my terms and not others. Leaving Mr. Ex and having to venture out into adulthood for the first time alone forced me to look inward. I had to get to know myself, my adult self. I was a much different person than I was 15 years ago when I had said “I do” at the age of 19. I had to learn my strengths, weakness, passions, and pains.
I looked in the mirror and saw this beautiful, powerful soul of a woman that was yearning to get out. I realized that if I let others decide my future then I would never be happy. I had reached a point in my life where I could only be true to myself. And the truth was if I listen to all the nay say’ers, the beautiful, powerful soul inside of me would die. They would win, and I would lose. So, the job called and gave me a start date. In return, I accepted and gave my business a re-launch opening date and I had the final say.