-Journey of Forgiveness

Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit to them-Bruce Lee

I’ve never really liked Spring. As a matter of fact, the feeling is pretty damn close to hate. It’s too unpredictable for me. Instead of Spring, it should be called the Twilight Zone. One minute, it’s all sunny and pretty. The next minute, there’s a monsoon, tornado or hurricane and oh, the enormous amount of gray rainy days.

 All that crazy weather is supposed to be good for the earth and everything on it right? Winter has washed away. The flowers start to bloom, dried up trees are rejuvenated, and new life begins to spring forth. Well for some of us, those freshly bloomed plants cause hay fever, allergy attacks, sinus issues, and asthma attacks. Oh, and that pile of new insect life, yeah, I could do without all that. So, nope don’t like Spring…. the season that is.

My Step Mother Spring, that’s a whole other story. My relationship with her is much like the season. She came right after the dark hours of my life, brought new life and from that point on I was sent through the “twilight zone” of emotion. She had so many mood swings I didn’t know who or what I was about to get. So, for the longest time, I secretly hated her, that is until I learned how to forgive.  

Trust me when I tell you there was plenty to forgive so, this was not an easy journey. This started back when I was between 3 to 5. After my mother died, my Dad went back on duty with the Marines and was stationed out of State so, we did not see much of him. My sister and I stayed behind and lived with Grandma Phy. We lived there until I reached 1stgrade. Now somewhere along the lines, I met Spring I don’t’ remember this day but, I do remember when my Dad told us that they were getting married. 

It was so sunny outside that day when my Dad walked into the house with Spring. My sister and I were bouncing all around happy to see my Dad and his friend.  “Girls come to have a seat on the steps, so I can talk to you,” he said. With goofy smiles on our faces, we sat on the stairs anticipating whatever news he had for us. “Do you girls like hanging with Spring?” he asked. “Yes!” we sang in unison. “If I marry her she will be your new mother, do you want her to be your new mother?” “Yes!” we sang once again. 

As I said, I don’t remember the first day I met Spring but, I do remember spending some time with her before that day. I remember she seemed nice and had a rabbit. As a kid that was pretty cool and to have a mother was even better. So, yeah, we said yes but, hell we didn’t know what we were saying yes too. Now what comes next is kind of a blur for me.

They got married (we didn’t go, and I can’t even tell you what day they got married) and my sister and I continued to live with Grandma Phy. What seemed like a short while later, Spring was pregnant with my little sister Amber. She was such a cute baby and I was so happy to be a big sister. I did not get to spend much time with her because after that, we didn’t see her again until she was a toddler. 

So, about a year after Amber was born, My Dad appeared at Grandma Phy’s again. This time he told us we were moving to Hawaii. Back then I didn’t know how cool that was as being a military brat, I was pretty used to traveling so this did not excite me. The fact that I was moving to a home with both my sisters, my Father, and a new Mommy is what got me hype. What I didn’t know is that the real reason my Dad was there to get us was that when Spring and Amber went to join my father in Hawaii some months back, she conveniently forgot two very important passengers…. That day I left Grandma Phy’s home and entered the “twilight zone”. 

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